There is perhaps no stronger international relationship than the diplomatic bond between the United States and Canada, but beneath all that warm-and-fuzzy chumminess lies a rivalry spanning generations. Yanks are fond of clowning our neighbors to the north for everything from their unflappable manners and melodramatic high schools to the scientifically proven fact that they’re all scared of the dark. Many Canucks, meanwhile, consider us to be arrogant dummies with wack healthcare, a penchant for passing the buck (passing the loonie?) and nothing but boorish disdain for anyone residing outside our 50 awesome states. (OK so maybe Canada’s not alone in all that.) With such close borders, it has to be this way. We’ll always be allies — but we’ll always have a bit of a score to settle. The eighth installment of COOK’s Open Stove competition series addressed this age-old struggle for cultural supremacy in the most dangerous death arena of them all: the kitchen.

Representing the stars ‘n’ bars: Scott Schroeder, the Detroit-born COOK regular who runs the kitchens at South Philly Tap Room and American Sardine Bar. His maple leaf-loving competition: Nick Macri, a Toronto native who serves as chef de cuisine and charcutier of Southwark. These two are good buddies, but the only thing they had in common on this combative night was their drinking. But COOK even scratched a line in the sand with that activity: The only available bottles were Budweiser and Molson, both sucked down with marathon gusto by the chefs, their assistants and the hungry crowd. Who would walk out of COOK with a rightful claim as King in the North (America)?

As is the case with all Open Stove nights, both Schroeder and Macri were allowed to conceive a first-course amuse bouche and a fourth-course dessert ahead of time. Macri started his meal off with a bite of toasted brioche topped with ice wine jelly, pickled mustard seeds and a duck liver mousse (left), the latter dollop an homage to the foie gras-obsessed French-Canadian stronghold of Montreal. Schroeder, meanwhile, capitalized on Macri’s constant ridicule of his proclivity for Latin seafood preparations by wrapping a scallop ceviche, spiced up with tomatillo and adobo, in a “cannoli” of duck prosciutto (right).

Then came the first secret ingredient of Open Stove VIII, required for use in the appetizer course: real-deal Canadian maple syrup. Macri grinned, Schroeder grimaced and the crowd quietly yearned for pancakes. The resultant dishes, of course, made everyone forget about short stacks right away. Macri presented a fluke crudo with salad, the syrup applied to the starter as a maple vinaigrette. Schroeder, meanwhile, took the a.m. eats ball and sprinted with it, creating a breakfast “sausage” out of shrimp that he paired with soft scrambled eggs and jalapeno peppers cooked in the secret sticky stuff.

Since it wouldn’t be fair to cater to Macri with the top-secret additions, the surprise for the chefs’ entree course was undoubtedly American: sliced white sandwich bread. You’d think this element would put Schroeder at a distinct advantage given his all-sandwich approach at Sardine Bar, but this might’ve been the toughest-to-judge round of the entire Open Stove. Macri manipulated the bread into a creamed corn-laced stuffing, giving the boring lunchbox standard a hearty personality that went excellently with gorgeous roasted beef eye round and Canadian whiskey sauce. Schroeder kept his slices whole, toasting them hard on a flat-top for an open-faced situation that brought together pork tenderloin, bacon, cilantro and a generous spooning of barbecued mushrooms. At this point in the battle, quite a few beers and shots had been downed by everyone in attendance, which coaxed the crowd into becoming twice-over members of the Clean Plate Club in record time. The competition behind the stove, of course, was damn thirsty too, resulting in a high number of grins all around:

Dessert is the last chance Open Stovers get to sway the voters into their camp, and though neither Macri nor Schroeder do much work with sweet stuff on a daily basis, they made extra-sure to bring it at the end. Macri once again shouted out Canadia Canada (they hate it when you call it Canadia!) with his dessert, an two-cream, two-sugar homage to the “double double” coffee from his beloved Tim Hortons matched with made-from-scratch eclairs inspired by two native candy bars, the Nestle Coffee Crisp and the Cadbury Mr. Big.  (Depressingly, the Mr. Big bar is not associated with the band Mr. Big, who are American but have always seemed really Canadian for some reason.) Schroeder got fancy with his finale, serving an apple-courant bread pudding with (American) whiskey ice cream and salted dulce de leche caramel.

Like each of the Open Stoves before it, the voting for Numero Ocho was closer than close. Schroeder ended up earning the victory on his home turf, a triumphant Bud-clutching moment for him and his countrymen. Macri was gracious in defeat, mostly because he is Canadian and they’re really nice. Schroeder returned the favor, speaking extremely highly of his friend and his cooking at Southwark. After they bro-hugged it out (an Open Stove tradition!), they decided to take one last shot to commemorate a hell of an evening. That looked like this:

Pretty sure they did one or six more shots after that, too, which looked like this:

Photos: Yoni Nimrod